What should I do with my life and how you can fix it…

Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

“What should I do with my life?…”

Have you ever asked yourself before this question? Has it even crosses your mind? or until now, this is your life long question to yourself.

I have the same question to myself before and that’s difficult, others call it “quarter-life crisis”, “mid-life crisis” or whatever crisis you termed it. But it all boils down from one question and that’s “What should I do?”. I used to think this one before… (I need to be honest on this one, although I have my plans I’m still having this thoughts, even until now while writing this post) but this is common especially when we are experiencing  BOREDOM, boredom not in the sense that you are not doing anything , but rather, on the sense that you keep on doing the same things and nothing feels like making you excited. (I sound like an old guy on this one…)

It is like you’re a hamster running all throughout the day without moving an inch at your cage, the feeling that you were trapped in your own life with your own decisions and choices. That sounds miserable right?

But you must think that it is all “NORMAL”, meaning, we all experienced that one! At some point in time, even those you considered to have their purpose has also experienced this one.

The following are the things I did in order for me to somewhat have a better plan for myself: (As even I, don’t have yet a picture of myself after 30 or 40 years, currently I only have my 5 to 10 years of plan or at least a vision for myself.)

Hope this could help you too…

1. Get out of your bed and TRY new things!

You know why it feels like you are not heading anywhere? It is because you’re not really moving! (Maybe you just keep on lying in your bed, sorry if I am being frank or too honest here..) But I realized before, I felt a lot bored since I just keep on doing the same things over and over and I don’t have any chance of doing anything new. I suggest that you go out and do something new! Remember before you want to learn new language? teach yourself and then just do it!, want to have your sports? join some groups! or just buy your sports equipment and then do it!, ever wanted to be a dancer? just search in Youtube, watch it and then do it!

Even if some things are not really your “thing”, hmm.. like maybe reading? Just try it! The key here is not really being committed into something new but to try it and have a new perspective, a broader perspective on a different aspect of life (maybe as a dancer, as person who knows different language, as an athlete or whatever it is).

After trying a lot of different things and hopefully finding it, you will be surprised that you never knew before that you would love doing it. That’s the time that you must continue pushing it or keep doing it, by that time for sure you’ve already found what you’re passionate about. (It’s easy said than done, I know, but the key here is just to KEEP on TRYING NEW THINGS!! And be amazed on how your life will change).

2. Share it!!

Don’t be afraid, just share it with anyone or everyone! After all, this is just normal right?

This is weird but sometimes you just have to be open or honest with everyone and with yourself that you still haven’t figured it out yet. The greatest thing about sharing something, aside from the psychological aspect that you will be able to release something that’s bothering you, is that you will have the different insights or perspective from the others.

As I’ve mentioned earlier this is all normal, and everyone has experienced it or even currently experiencing it. You will never know what other people can share with you once you become more open with what you’re experiencing. You might also be surprised that each of us have these feelings and it will ease the burden within us. They might also give you some new perspective or something worthwhile for you to find your own purpose in life.

3. Step-out!!

One reason maybe, is that you’re always in your shell, hiding and does not going out of your comfort zone (or even waiting for something great to happen…even though you’re not doing what needs to be done). Remember doing that same thing over and over allows you to experience BOREDOM. You became merely a machine doing the same thing! (I’m telling you, it will just keep on dragging you down!)

Have you ever heard of this quote?

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it” – Judy Blume

I know this may sound too absurd, but you ALWAYS have to do things that you don’t normally do! Do something that makes you afraid! There are wonders of things that can happen when started facing your fears!

We are often locked and constricted with our own “What if’s”, that often, we decided not to do something because of these “What if’s”. The greatest fear of “What others will tell me?” and “What if I fail?”, that kills almost all our dreams and goals in life.

When you started facing what you’re afraid of, you start having this feeling of FREEDOM. The feeling that even your fear is no match for what you can do! Isn’t that feeling quite far from the you’ve felt of being bored? Face your fears and have your freedom!

4. Ask yourself and start little by little…

I did this one and asked myself…

“What are the things that excites me…?”

This is merely a question (not even a sentence ending in “.“) for a question that you currently have right now. But you know what?!! This is the starting point of everything. When you start recognizing the things that excite you, you start having this self-assessment on who you really are. You started knowing yourself more and more. (The thing is, most of the people is currently living based on other’s opinion mainly because they don’t really know themselves that much…)

The point is to know yourself more and more, and know what are your value in life, then eventually pursuing those things. As we often value those things that we are happy doing it (those things that excites us!), that, gives your life more value and eventually the purpose that you’re looking for.

Just have a list of those things and start doing it more often. If you like cooking, then keep on doing it, start doing it more often. If you love writing, then start writing more often. You can never tell, maybe these are the one you’ve been looking for.

This is like magnifying those things that currently matters to you and may eventually will give you value and purpose to live for!!

5. Have a bucket list!

Have you ever heard of Ben Nemtin and his friends crossing out their bucket list! (Check it out here!!)

They don’t initially know what to do with their life but listing those that they want and commit on doing it, everything starts to change! There are a lot of things that we can benefit from having a bucket list (Check it here, I’ve found this one helpful for you to see further the benefits of having a bucket list).

Having your bucket list gives a list of those what you really wanted in life. And committing yourself to do it one by one will give you a different perspective of what’s life is all about.

Your bucket list serves as your list of “What I really wanted to do with my life” and sometimes we neglect it because we may have forgotten about it or we became too busy on meeting other people’s expectations. Sometimes all we must do is know what we want in life and start doing it.

You can never tell, maybe one day, what you want in your life is one of those items that you’ve listed there.

6. “If you will die after a year from today, what would you like to do?”

Try asking yourself this one, this gives you more definition and meaning of what life really is.

We often neglect to ourselves that at some point in time we will all die and everything that we did will not really matter to us anymore. We all try to “not remember this one” but knowing that we will all die at some point, gives us more meaning on what we really want in life. 

“The irony of life, that death gives life a meaning”, is the principle of this one. Look at yourself in the future and assess yourself on what really matters to you. If you will die next year, what is the thing that you always want to do before that time comes it will give you this list and decided on doing it.

This will give more sense on what you are doing. That every time you do “something”, it is the “something” that you really treasure, and it is the “something” that matters to you the most.

“We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.” – Chuck Palahniuk

Conclusion

The above things are just some of the things we can do to answer our question in life. You must remember that this is normal, and we need to give it some time.

At the end of the day, it is a journey for each of us to find the meaning of life. We all have our own purpose and oftentimes we are trapped in this journey to find its meaning. You don’t have to push or force yourself too much if you haven’t yet after all, this is what our life really is.